Spreading the Good News

I'm not really sure where to even start. I want my life to be devoted to God and dedicated to spreading His Word. It would bring me joy to be a missionary or a counselor of some sort for the rest of my life - however, we'll see what God has planned for my life. I think I could be doing a MUCH better job and telling people about Jesus. There are numerous times I can remember where I felt like God was calling me to talk to someone about Him, and I ignored Him and disobeyed what He was calling me to do. Once I felt really called to talk to one of my sweet, sweet friends who was going down the wrong path with her boyfriend. I really didn't want to offend her in anyway and make her think that I didn't love her. But the actuality I later realized was that if I didn't talk to her about it and try to help her - then that would be me not loving her. Because If I truly love her that means I want to help her get on the right path - regardless of her response, because I care about her. But when I felt God was calling me to do this it was like midnight and I was laying in bed and I was thinking about just not talking to her about it.. But literally like a few minutes later I get a text message from the girl and she was talking about this other guy (not her boyfriend) and it was like God was handing me the perfect opportunity to talk to her about it. After I talked to her we had an amazing conversation and she was so thankful that I talked to her.. she's still taking babysteps at getting better with her situation but I feel like God made us closer as sisters in Christ because of my obedience and for that he blessed our friendship. I constantly have to pray to be strong and courageous. When I think about it - the most influential people in my life, the people that I look up to and hope to one day become  are women of Christ who are unashamed! They are courageous and they love Jesus so much that it just overflows and you can tell that they have Jesus in them just by their smile and the way they talk. It makes me soo inspired to become like them, thankfully I'm not filled with jealousy towards them, instead its a longing to have Jesus shining through me. Another one of my amazing friends Tyler decided that after being a Christian his whole life... Christianity "just isn't for him". When he told me this my heart broke. It is so so so heart breaking to hear that someone you care so much about isn't a Christian. Tyler has asked me to pray for him and I have been.. we talk like once every other week and I just check in with him. Thankfully he's going to Kanakuk again this year (thats how I know him) and I've just been praying that God will speak through his counselors and bring sweet Tyler back to Christ. We talked a little bit about hypocrisy and its at the end of the article we read and I'll be the first to admit - I'm not free from hypocrisy. I gossip when I shouldn't... I lie about stupid things that don't even matter... I do things that are not reflecting Jesus Christ. But I am working on these things. I want the last thing that people think of me to be a hypocrite - a white washed tomb. Mark 1:15 says, "'The time has come' he said. 'The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!'" Even typing out this verse today has been "hard." Not sure if that is the word I am really looking for but let me see if I can explain. Sometimes, I cringe with the thought of the truth of the gospel. Meaning the truth that there is a heaven and a hell. The truth that some people will be in hell for eternity. Even typing it is just "hard". I am not a writer or speaker of eternal damnation or fire and brimstone. But Truth is Truth. As Debbie Jo has taught me the book of Revelation and I have listened 2-3 times to her breakdown of this book I have to believe that the end is truly near. Is it tomorrow, I dont know? Is it in 30 more years, could be? Is it in 50 more decades, that too could be possible? I think the biggest word that sticks out to me in this verse is repent. Its the one area in my life that I have to be on myself of not forgetting, now that I am His child, to confess and repent over my sins, each day! As you read this verse, does your heart rate speed up because of excitement (mixed with a tid bit of unknown of heaven) and that the kingdom of God is going to be awesome! or does your heart rate speed up because you aren't sure you are even in the kingdom of God? If it's the latter, God's near to you! Basically all in all, I want to spread the gospel courageously, unashamed! And I want to spread the gospel through my life... not just my words.